What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
