How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
