What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
