ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
