You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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