i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
