I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
