Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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