Plan B is the new Plan A
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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