they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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