Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
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I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
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Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
and you fell through a lawn chair
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