I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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