Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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