After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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