there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
