Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
