Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
