coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
