he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
