Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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