whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
