this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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