Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
