Tell her she can't have a vagina
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
