And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
