So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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