hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
