I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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