so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
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yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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