Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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