BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
