dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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