My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
