The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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