Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.

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  (214): I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this. http://tfl.nu/iqku
  Replies (46) Good night (7043) Bad night (670)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.

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  (830): she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again. http://tfl.nu/v31h
  Replies (17) Good night (1067) Bad night (4763)
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  (530): View more from California

  Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(

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  (530): Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :( http://tfl.nu/eg10
  Replies (18) Good night (892) Bad night (7187)
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  (631): View more from New York

  we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility

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  (631): we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility http://tfl.nu/kdjh
  Replies (11) Good night (3410) Bad night (1079)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.

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  (703): No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off. http://tfl.nu/2s4x
  Replies (10) Good night (6791) Bad night (998)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.

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  (519): Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey. http://tfl.nu/gckq
  Replies (10) Good night (1942) Bad night (984)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.

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  (918): I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance. http://tfl.nu/ugp3
  Replies (13) Good night (1808) Bad night (1146)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight

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  (540): There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight http://tfl.nu/g8si
  Replies (0) Good night (1019) Bad night (588)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence

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  (240): i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence http://tfl.nu/n478
  Replies (2) Good night (1385) Bad night (633)
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  (323): View more from California

  We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.

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  (323): We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40. http://tfl.nu/6iay
  Replies (4) Good night (1046) Bad night (568)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.

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  (314): Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night. http://tfl.nu/wauu
  Replies (5) Good night (564) Bad night (968)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.

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  (406): Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story. http://tfl.nu/fe6z
  Replies (7) Good night (1563) Bad night (380)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We won Spring Training 2013.

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  (609): We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them. (609): We won Spring Training 2013. http://tfl.nu/awkc
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.

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  (603): 'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES. http://tfl.nu/23ze
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (276)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.

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  (603): I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty. http://tfl.nu/jo6d
  Replies (5) Good night (382) Bad night (756)

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