Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
