Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(

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  (267): Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:( http://tfl.nu/yddk
  Replies (3) Good night (748) Bad night (2541) Order T-Shirt
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!

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  (857): Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?! http://tfl.nu/m6me
  Replies (15) Good night (463) Bad night (1155) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself

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  (612): I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself http://tfl.nu/0tce
  Replies (6) Good night (529) Bad night (2692) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.

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  (401): Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night. http://tfl.nu/eotk
  Replies (8) Good night (499) Bad night (3166) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.

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  (843): I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out. http://tfl.nu/mzmx
  Replies (7) Good night (933) Bad night (3937) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar

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  (+44): That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar http://tfl.nu/aq1i
  Replies (11) Good night (4445) Bad night (1691) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".

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  (785): Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets". http://tfl.nu/227d
  Replies (16) Good night (1025) Bad night (4340) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.

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  (404): I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit. http://tfl.nu/bfom
  Replies (5) Good night (1226) Bad night (2844) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?

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  (312): Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight? http://tfl.nu/82ga
  Replies (3) Good night (1296) Bad night (1427) Order T-Shirt
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.

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  (438): I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning. http://tfl.nu/ev9g
  Replies (15) Good night (3046) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.

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  (608): He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles. http://tfl.nu/pu4v
  Replies (20) Good night (3528) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.

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  (613): Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar. http://tfl.nu/8auj
  Replies (12) Good night (2585) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"

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  (845): I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl" http://tfl.nu/lnr2
  Replies (5) Good night (1155) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"

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  (616): But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!" http://tfl.nu/95zk
  Replies (10) Good night (2602) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.

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  (310): What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business. http://tfl.nu/a4r2
  Replies (5) Good night (1957) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt

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