Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.

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  (405): That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi. http://tfl.nu/2rin
  Replies (15) Good night (998) Bad night (3791)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.

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  (267): No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay. http://tfl.nu/ge7h
  Replies (9) Good night (1014) Bad night (4179)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.

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  (260): Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens. http://tfl.nu/pxin
  Replies (31) Good night (11494) Bad night (1196)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad

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  (317): The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad http://tfl.nu/cny5
  Replies (20) Good night (3578) Bad night (1068)
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  (530): View more from California

  So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.

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  (530): So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention. http://tfl.nu/8fhv
  Replies (11) Good night (1061) Bad night (4013)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"

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  (440): Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little" http://tfl.nu/17w7
  Replies (6) Good night (3247) Bad night (888)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face

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  (952): like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face http://tfl.nu/ozvq
  Replies (11) Good night (774) Bad night (1860)
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  (858): View more from California

  currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh

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  (858): currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh http://tfl.nu/1197
  Replies (6) Good night (1601) Bad night (684)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.

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  (208): You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch. http://tfl.nu/o56t
  Replies (1) Good night (1259) Bad night (398)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"

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  (828): Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole" http://tfl.nu/3q74
  Replies (21) Good night (584) Bad night (2017)
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  (315): View more from New York

  While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects

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  (315): While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects http://tfl.nu/c75x
  Replies (3) Good night (1378) Bad night (464)
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  (707): View more from California

  Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!

  (720): View more from Colorado

  True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.

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  (707): Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas! (720): True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place. http://tfl.nu/87wy
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.

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  (505): I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome. http://tfl.nu/rp6m
  Replies (5) Good night (1054) Bad night (286)
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  (716): View more from New York

  BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.

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  (716): BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet. http://tfl.nu/90zb
  Replies (0) Good night (417) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi

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  (410): You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi http://tfl.nu/fnbe
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (323)

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