She's JV to your varsity
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
