So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
