I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
