Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize