Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So vagazzling was a success
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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