Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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