I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
