You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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