you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
