'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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