I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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