I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
