I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
