I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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