Don't make out with my wife yet
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.