weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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