What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize