Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
