we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
