my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
