Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
