if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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