you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
