not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
