I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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