garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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