pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
