I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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